Got Dumped - Retort

Dear [Ted], fuck you.
You're like shit that I scrape from the sole of my shoe.
You and your shriveled tiny little dick,
your idea of sex makes me laugh and then sick.
They were fake all those orgasms you thought you saw,
When you fell asleep I got the vibrator from the drawer.
I was the one who let out your dog Rover,
and you stupid prick, everyone knows you comb over.
I told all my friends that you need Rhino horn,
and I emailed your work saying you like transvestite porn.
And the wine on your head means that I dumped you,
but now I'm taking your Armani shirt to wipe my ass in the loo.

[] - Name of a prick, or really anyone that makes you sick.